By Adedara Oduguwa PhD
As I was driving to work this morning, this phrase flashed through the silent part of my mind ‘never lend him even if he’s (she’s) dying.’ At first, this sounded devilry. I have slept all the night thinking about how ‘many good deeds’ (almost all good deeds) always paid back with ‘bad wishes’ and perhaps, ‘bad actions’.
As a person, I have not written on a topic I have not experienced or knows someone closely who had experienced it. On the present topic, I have experienced it repeatedly, and just, finally found a solution to it.
As a problem solver, why do people regret the act of lending? What makes the borrower to suddenly becomes enemy of his/her benefactor? Why is lending usually leading to ‘character assassination, bad-mouthing and even physical assassination’ ?
According to Oxford Dictionary (2020) lending is described as the action of allowing a person or organization the use of a sum of money under an agreement to pay it back later.
What is not so clear are the factors that makes it almost impossible to pay-back. Poor fund management, poor people management, cyber attacks from hushpuppies, threatening government policies, unexpected contingencies, family demands, status maintenance and spiritual attack(s) are some of these factors.
However, it is not abnormal for a borrower never to be able to payback his/her lender. What is not normal is how the-once-gentle prospective debtor, looks into the eyes of his creditor on the due-date of the loan’s repayment with disdain and hatred.
If you want to lose a friend, lend him money!If you want to keep a relationship give anything for free. Most often, money is more valuable to life. That’s why men would kill for it. I know we all want to live long, but how can a money lender live long?
Personally, I have lost good relationships to this ‘money lending effect’ , before the solution came. Please see the following phone conversation between a prospective borrower and lender:
‘Ms T: Hello Mr A my friend’
‘Mr A:Hi Ms T how are you today?’
‘Ms T: Am trying to be fine o.’
‘Mr A: What is the matter and why are you sounding this way?’
‘Ms T: My mum is dying and the doctor said we have to deposit N100,000 before she would be attended to. And presently I have only N50,000 with me. If we didn’t get the money today, my mum may die (she was sobered and crying). Please help me with the N50,000 I don’t want my mum to die now. I will pay you by next week once salary is paid.’
‘Mr A: Ah this is serious, I really want to help but personally I don’t have much on me.’
‘Ms T: Ah! I am in trouble, how much do you have?’
‘ I have N15000. And I will have to go to work too from it before we are paid next week. If you don’t mind, I could give you N10000 to support your mum, I am not loaning you this, I am giving you while I keep N5000 for my upkeep till the next pay-day.’
‘Ms T: Wow! Okay thanks. Here is my account details; MS T, 234568241, UBA.’
Mr A sent the money as promised. Further, Ms T was able to raised the remaining money. Her mother was healed and She appreciated Mr A for the support. They remain good friends.
Meanwhile, Mr A had been victim of lending that became sour in the past. He had promised himself never to fall for such ‘giving desperation’ as at the time Ms T called, he had N250, 000 on him. Although to pursue some personal projects, but he decided to give out N10, 000 to Ms T, just to keep her friendship.
From my personal experience, I think we all make mistakes and it is in human nature not to pay back or return what is borrowed. So, why not dash out whatever you can afford rather than losing a precious friend or your precious life?
Don’t loan anyone what you can’t dash them! Have a wonderful day.
Image Source: Quickmeme
ebiographer 